I've learned a lesson. I don't need people around me to make it in life, what happens to me is my own will. If you want to lend me a helping hand i will thank you if i need it and i will some day return the favor. But if i don't want your help, please respect that if i say no. I made this decision a few days ago when i was speaking to my parents about the situation in my school since i've decided to drop it because it's to hard for me. Yupp i guess i'm a quitter, and i guess i'm also too weak since i drop out because something's too hard to do. But seriously school is killing me.. i've never been the ''studier'', i hardly made it through my first year at gymnasium and now i'm hardly and mostly not gona make the second year. I have a job at McDonalds and i've decided to let go of my dreams about becoming an actor for a while or forever, i don't know it yet but a guy that had to walk in my shoes for almost 18 years and go through the things i had to go through would probably kill himself by now like i tried last year. But i failed, and now i only have the will to live on and do what i can do to make some money and buy myself a roof and four walls to have above my head and go to work and go to work and go to work. Come to think of it it's not so bad, only a few percents of the people on earth have a roof over their heads and to be one of them few percents is enough for me. I came to realize people who read my blog always try to give me advise and always try to tell me what to do to make it better in life and what path i should chose and what i should study or if i should study etc. Please feel free to read all this crazy jibber jabber depressing crap i write but don't tell me what to do or what or who i am or what you feel about me. I simply don't give a rats ass. I guess this is my thing... writing and expressing myself this way. If ''you'' don't like it then it's up to you. My eyes are very open and i see what i'm doing. My ears can hear and i listen to whatever pleases me. My legs work perfect so i chose to walk my own way.