Just one summer ago when everything went all from bright to black. My world completely fell apart and there was nothing i could do about it just like a hurricane. I had no controle of myself and it got worse during the year 2012 and faded into 2013 where everything was just about everyone having enough about Dennis and wanting me out of the team. I had so much to live for once. I was a strong boy i had the power i had the energy and once you came in to my life i got even more. Truth is it was only you who i felt like i lived for and never will i regret it. What am i supposed to do now? start fighting again and show spirit? So much i've done that i badly regret i did after i was left by myself. So many people i disappointed, so many people left me, not even the closest ones are there anymore. Started drinking, stopped going to school, got kicked out of my house, got depressed, turned on the motor engine in my garage, frantic, heart problem because of my stress and sadness, brain damage, and that's still the one i am today only i keep everything inside my heart. It's all gone. My life could only get better if i took a gun and put a got damn cap in my brain. I only turn 18 soon and still society thinks i'm a kid. Normally a guy in my age would need his parents for a few more years but i have tried to find my own place sine 2012 when i was 16. I fought and i fought, i got nothing. Not from my mother, not from my dad and not from a family member. I tried going to church and ask for help and for a few seconds i thought i found hope but no things got even worse for me. I'm never gona be abled to live a normal life again. While kids in my age go out and drink and smoke and party and have fun and go and hide in big daddy's pocket when they're in trouble or need money, i have to work my ass of to get a little money so i can buy my clothes and pay my phone bill and it ain't shit left over to even go out and have a little fun. Sure i would try to make it better if i only where the man i was 1 or 2 years ago. But i'm too old now i'm too weak, too alone, too tired, too depressed, too sad i'm too got damn dead. I only have one wish left that i maybe have to take to my grave. And that's to hold your hand again. Because when i have your hand all i just wrote wouldn't matter anymore because then i'd be happy and satisfied. My wishes would all come true. And if not, then i will just die alone like it's already planed.